Undskyldopolis

Undskyldopolis (Danish: Ουνςκιλόπολις) is the former capital of Denmark, located directly beneath its current capital, Copenhagen, and accessible through its sewers.

According to legend, the city was founded by Denmark's first king, Skjöldr, at the first year of the Common Era, and marked the transformation of Denmark into a Christian nation. Skjöldr was said to have built the city from the bones of his wife, and to have built an army of skodlings to protect it. The skodlings, which still patrol the ruined city, are golems made from soggy, discarded cigarettes, built by viking engineers and animated by Undskyldopolis' Chief Rabbi, Juda Fuglsen. King Skjöldr ordered the execution of Fuglsen in order to hide his involvement in the creation of the skodlings, but the purpose of the execution was defeated when it was held publicly, and Fuglsen's crimes were announced before it. Archaeologists and explorers visiting the city discovered the skodlings patorl on fixed route, entirely ignoring most visitors. However, at one point a skodling attacked a Swedish archaeologist, mauling her to death before returning to his patrol. The rest of her team, which consisted of Danes, Icelanders and Faroe Islanders, was not harmed by the skodling, leading them to suspect the skodlings are programmed to attack Swedes, although such claims were not proven due to a lack of willing test subjects.



During their expeditions into Undskyldopolis, archaeologists found evidence for what they believe to be a zoo and a brothel, possibly functioning as the same institution. Danish Parliament Member Jens Hundsporskifteomstillingudbydere has commented that this discovery is a testament to the cultural heritage of bestiality in Denmark. Before further investigation could commence, a level 3 goblin infestation struck the sewers of Copenhagen, rendering the city inaccessible until the infestation is dealt with or alternative ways into the ancient city are found.